My first time: I got robbed!

                      Face to Face with crime in Mzansi

To the readers; this post is not an invitation to my pity party (that ended a while ago) but i just want to share with you about the first time i got robbed. First let me send a shout out to the man who broke into the car and stole my laptop bag that had my purse in it; Congratulations, you are R 27 and [however much you sold my laptop for] richer. 

So......3 weeks ago i got robbed of all my valuables (Laptop bag- laptop, Wallet- e-Reader, ID, Passport, Bank cards, Earrings (cheap rubies i got from my mother in 2011) and an EXPIRED myCiti bus card). Since I had never had an item lost or stolen from me in my 6 years staying in the "cities" i had always taken pride in the fact that i take very good care of my personal belongings (as contrasted to one of my close friends who has lost more that 5 phones in under 2 years), what i experienced 3 weeks ago was a humbling experience in every manner. I went to a staff meeting around 1 PM and was asked few minutes later to go check on something at the church building.

That fateful Monday afternoon at 3:30 when the security guard minding the building next door to my church building ran inside bawling in Xhosa "Someone is stealing stuff from your car!" (Translated) i thought he was mistaken, i imagined he must have been alerting one of the Xhosa guys i was standing with inside the  building....Unfortunately the man was talking directly to me. I ran outside in disbelief , convinced that he made a mistake, when i got to the car the security guard knew what he was talking about ...behold!, there it was; the window smashed to thousand little pieces and my laptop bag gone...along with my self-esteem and will to live. 

At the moment of realizing what just happened, in my mind the sky became grey and i heard a wolf howl in a distance. It started raining on top of my head although it was sunny in Port Elizabeth that afternoon. I had never ever in my life felt confused, violated and astonished at the same time. A large crowd was starting to draw near the now windowless car like a Paparazzi that had just spotted a famous celebrity in town. 

One of the guys in the audience walked up to me and advised me to "Call the police",[i use the word audience coz it looked like a scene from a blockbuster film and in it i was the main actor]  i have to say i occasionally get agitated and respond quick in stressful situations but at that moment i felt defeated. I just sat down on the ground next to the car. Minutes later i pressed my phone, opened the phone-book and called my sister who is in Pretoria instead of the police. After explaining to her what has happened she burst out laughing and i joined her, we laughed together for over a minute till i decided to face reality. 10111 was the 5th number i dialed, a policeman showed up 20 minutes near the scene and asked what happened then drove off . Anyways i had to replace my bank card and ID immediately, now i have an ID card after declaring that i won't get it anytime soon coz its too portable.

I thought hard about how different things would have turned out if i had been more careful and put my bag in the trunk but seriously, nothing really prepares you for a robbery like being robbed! Experience is the best teacher, sadly. 

Today in addition of owning a new ID and bank card, i own a pepper-spray. 

The fake generation: Does social media tell you everything about my life?

by Guest blogger: Matshilele Nemakanga Sithole

Last week I was had a conversation with a close friend I made through Facebook about a year and half ago. She was grumbling at how her life sucks and she wishes she could have a perfect life like mine or another girl’s.

 I had to humble myself and reveal some of the astonishing daily life experiences that my Instagram, Facebook or Twitter account doesn’t tell the world, but in a world dominated by social media I can understand how one could easily be fooled into thinking everyone else in the world but them, is living a fairy-tale. My life is far from perfect. If anything, I, like my friend also tend to idolise other people’s lives that seem perfect on social networks.

  

Don’t get me wrong, I am happily married to one of the most amazing guys in the world and I am a mother to three cute girls but my life is not close to perfect (anyone who says theirs is probably lying), not all our Facebook statuses and pictures can document everything that we experience as a family- from our daily struggles as a couple, our arguments, toddler meltdowns, troubles caring for three kids (all younger than 2) to our messy family dates, devotions, travels, dinners, etc.

 My husband and I often laugh at how we both only pick the best moments of our days, months or years to share with Facebook, that if only we could tell Facebook when one of us woke up grumpy (its mostly me, thanks to him for putting up with me) or when things are just not going well with the kids or our parents, then social networks would have some element of truth and reality.

You would be so surprised how average people’s lives are (including mine) in reality. This is not meant to discourage those who post updates about their real lives for the sole purpose of encouraging and being role models to others but rather to encourage those who feel like everyone else is living in a fairy-tale but them. 

Life is made up of both the good and the bad, but since the bad can often be embarrassing, most people’s posts are carefully curated to depict a good appearance. One amazing thing about Social Networks is that they afford people from all walks of life to flaunt their stuff and brag about how much they love their lives, the best part: you can be one person online, another in your walking life and it seems like everyone is very good at inventing themselves.

 Next time if you look at someone’s Instagram/Facebook pictures and start feeling discontent and unhappy with your life, remember it’s mostly all about who can tell their story better. 

"For most people, what you see on social media is not what you get in real life. It is a constructed utopia of extravagant vacations juxtaposed with airbrushed photos of friends at parties or nice dinners. It serves as a virtual glass case of our joys and successes while our failures and troubles remain hidden from public view."-Briana Rifkin

A poor girl's travel plan: Why i hate flying, Why busses are underrated

DISCLAIMER: this applies only on domestic flights not international

Let me start of by saying: "i hate flying! ", to those who enjoy being in planes that statement might sound absurd but those who have been in bad flights are probably going "me too, me too".

I had my first flight was with Mango airlines from OR Tambo international airport to Port Elizabeth airport in January 2015

, it was an enjoyable ride yet scary at the same time. In my teens I'd watched a lot of Flight crash investigations on Dstv. That, coupled with the knowledge that anything man-made is not perfect, made me so scared to fly.

I travelled on the road to varsity. The buses from Pretoria to Port Elizabeth made me feel safer despite the fact that there are more reported road accidents than there are plane crashes in South Africa.

my hatred of flying is not merely the result of FEAR...yes I admit that airplanes terrify me, but the aversion is not coming from getting that funny drop feeling in my stomach right after take off or feeling like the plane is going to fall during turbulence. Its the logistics that are involved in the flying experience [which starts right the moment one books the ticket to landing safely at a desired destination] that makes me dread taking a flight.

While flying might be a wonderful experience for the 'bourgeois' or a quicker way to get to a place for the impatient ......Here are 3 reasons why flying is my least favorite option:

1. Cost: Its usually expensive

 Although there are often specials on airlines like Mango, flySAfair, Kulula, etc. I ,personally find flying to be an expensive way to travel. Some airlines whose names I won't mention lure you with a small airfare but will charge you for checked baggage, airport taxes, extra legroom and whatnot, you will end up paying more than what they advertised whereas with a bus, what you see is what you pay for!

Since some South African airports are situated in secluded areas, getting there requires a Gautrain, shuttle or lift which is an added cost. Getting someone to pick me up from the destination airport is a cost either for me or the other person. I hardly experience the same hassle while taking a bus because bus stations are often situated at central business districts where the public transport system is.

2. Process: Booking, Paying, Check-in, bag drop-off, boarding, etc

The thought that being in something that creatively designed is thrilling yet anyone rarely mentions the process one has to go through to finally sit inside the airplane.

When I travel by bus, all I do is- get to the bus station, take my bag to the baggage compartment, then sign in with my ticket through the bus attendant, takes a minute or so. Its a different experience with flying where I have to book the ticket, sign in and drop my luggage 1h30m and 45mins before the flight takes off. Then I have to board the gate usually 30 mins before take off. The endless security lines are stressful and tedious.

Then upon landing I still have to walk into the airport and wait for my luggage by the baggage carousel at the same time, pray that none of my bags with important personal goods go missing

3. Experience: Time and convenience

While flying saves time, bus travels are for the adventurous at heart- a domestic flight will take you from point A to B without a layover, while the clouds up there makes you see the greatness of God in his creative genius, busses also offer the same, you get to see God at work as you pass towns, houses of all kinds and cities with history, people, culture and so much life!

MUST READ: 9 struggles only Christian students know too well

Being a Christian in your 20s is not easy because at that age you are young and still trying to figure your way through life and perhaps trying to build a future. All students whether Christian or Non-Christian face challenges but its even more difficult for Christians who are attempting to get an education through a circular tertiary institution, this can also extend to the workplace. In a predominantly secular society, trying to hold on to biblical perspectives can be very challenging.

These are some of the struggles I faced and still facing as a Christian student:


1. You are automatically labelled as judgmental

One of the widespread arguments against Christians is that they are judgmental or always trying to impose their views on others, the criticism comes in response to those who openly speak out against lifestyles or behaviors that God judges as sin (gotquestions.org). So when you open your mouth to say "I am a Christian" its as if people hear "I'm going to judge you now", Believe it or not, Christians are not as judgmental as you think.



2. Inviting your classmates to church is nerve-wrecking

Because you fear you will be rejected....and rejection hurts

3. When you do door-to-door evangelism at Res people mistake you for a Jehovah's witness
and some wish they could just tell you blatantly that "No one wants your Jesus, now hit the breaks freak!"

4. Other non-Christians think you are just going through a trans

This usually happens when you convert into Christianity while you are already in varsity.
You wish you could just let everyone know that

you in fact love God.


5. You get to meet Professor I-know-everything

Research indicates that 4 in 5 college students will end up in a skeptic/agnostic/liberal lecturer's class. Its even worse if its a Philosophy class. This dude is dedicated to his academic subject and equally dedicated to planting the seed of doubt in his students' minds. Prof's arguments are persuasive on unsuspecting students. If you are unlucky and end up in his class, PRAY hard!

6. You are always portrayed as crazy or hollow on TV

This is important because watching "TV" series and movies is a huge part of the Varsity experience and other students will associate you with those characters regardless of the fact that almost all TV shows and films are not written by Christian film makers.

 
 
 
 
Think of some of the most entertaining shows on TV such as Grey's anatomy, Scandal, Glee, etc. The Christian characters are always portrayed as socially awkward religious nuts who do weird religious things. One character in particular is Sally Langston(Portrayed by Kate Burton) who is the former Vice president of the United States on Scandal, murdered her husband and claimed the devil made her commit the crime after she discovered he was a sleeping with other men.

 Another interesting character from the 1994 film The Shawshank redemption is Warden Norton(Portrayed by Bob Gunton), at the beginning of the film he is identified as a Christian prison warden who doesn't tolerate blasphemy against God in the prison and urges all new inmates to put their trust in the Lord but near the end of the film Mr Norton is revealed as a corrupt, heartless fraud who embezzled millions of tax dollars from the government.


7. Dating

Contrary to popular belief, Christian students are not emotionless robots, people in church date its just that the foundation for the relationship is Christ.
And oh...it can get pretty awkward if things don't work out because the person you dated might be in the same class, campus or Res with you.

8. you battle with how to live out your Christian faith in front of your school mates
 "To pray or not to pray before eating my sandwich at the cafeteria?"

"Will I offend anyone if I say 'Amen' after my presentation?"

"Can I do my devotion on a bus ride to school?"

The battle is real but fight the good fight

9.  Prayer groups get crowded during exams

And i'm not saying people shouldn't join in prayer during exams, its just one of the annoying things when there are 10 students during the course of the year in prayer meetings then 100 in an exam prayer. Like 'where ya'll been the whole term huh?'

Read this if you are 25 and don't have any idea what you are doing!

Read this if you are 25 and don’t have any idea what you are doing

When I was in high school, I used to draw inspiration from the 21-year-olds of that time, most of them who are from my neighborhood had just wrapped up their tertiary studies, finding employment in prominent companies…I was also convinced that by the age of 25 I would have everything in my life figured out, that perhaps I would be in a stable relationship/married

, owning a house

or car, 

but as it turns out, those kind of fantasies don’t always form part of one’s reality. I am graduating from University for the second time in April and time seems to have flown with a rocket. It makes me wonder if my high school self is looking at me in horror or delight, truth be told, I am 24-years old(25 in 6 months) and I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.

After five years of learning how to live by myself and being kind of independent, I’ve moved back into my mother’s house. While I do love my family and appreciate their unconditional love (or tolerance), I long to live far away from home again. After five years of making new friends and learning things about the world around me, I have gone back to the people I started life with.  I once said it in one of my old posts that once you leave home for a long time upon your return you will realise your entire family has developed a psychological disposition that doesn’t include you and all of a sudden you are just watching them do stuff without you.

I feel like I am 18 years again, the time I went to varsity for the first time with no life responsibilities apart from attaining my degree, except this time I don’t have the luxury of being 18. Life isn’t holding my hand or offering me anything for free anymore. Many of my peers have achieved what I thought I would have achieved by now and it feels like others have attained it all when I haven’t even began at. My big sister keeps assuring me that it’s going to be okay at some point and that this momentary ‘dry’ season shouldn’t drive me to despair about my future and as a young woman trusting in Jesus I’m drawing strength from him daily believing he will take care of me.

So what if you are not married yet, so what if you don’t have your dream job yet, so what if you don’t own any property yet like the next person? This life thing is not a competition (although Instagram makes it seem like it is), you are not in a race to beat anyone. This is your own journey.  

I may be 24 and have no idea what I’m doing and life has not played out as I had thought! So if you are in the same boat but not seeing the shore …..maybe there is something far more fundamental to life than marriage, great corporate job and wealth. That fundamental calling begs the question, why are we here? The answer to that question would surely cause us to see that all of life does not consist of marriage, great job and wealth and even without these, there is refreshing joy. Surely if all of life found its fulfilment and satisfaction in marriage, great corporate job and wealth, then life is sure empty and trivial and sad.

 

 

 

Top 10 Best Actresses on South African TV

South African film industry is infested with bad actors and actresses (i.e Ranthumeng from Muvhango...Karishma from Generations the legacy, gosh they are terrible!), it feels like casting directors love torturing their viewers with bad acting, which makes you wanna gouge your eyeballs out or rather appreciate those who deposit their energy and talents into their given roles.

In 2011, SowetanLIVE ran an article Top 10 SA Actresses revealing the best actresses who grace our local Television screens, the list was rather disappointing as Sowetan overlooked some of the most remarkable actresses in Mzanzi. Below is a redeeming list with best actresses curated for you to scrutinize:

Top 10 Best Actresses on South African TV

10. Sonia Mbele (Ntombi Khumalo-Dlomo on Generations)

You will remember this beauty as the wife of controversial businessman/gangsta, Sibusiso Dlomo on Generations. Although she hasn't done much acting recently except on golddiggers, her work in the soapie still speaks volume about what a talented actress she is.

9. Sindi Dlathu (Nomthandazo Mokoena on Muvhango)

She had a small part in the critically acclaimed Apartheid film Sarafina then emerged as an actor on one of South Africa's most watched tv shows, Muvhango. Although her character is currently  rumoured to be attending an all-white party which is expected to end sometime in December 2017, there is no denying that her and some few characters( not Ranthumeng or Mankosi) are God's gift to Duma Ndlovu's mystical show.

8. Michelle Botes (Cheryl De Villiers on Isidingo: The need)

If you watch Isidingo religiously, you will remember an episode back in 2003 where Michelle's character murdered her stepson in cold-blood, hid his body in a mineshaft and went on to marry his father- Barker Haines (played by Robert Whitehead) She nailed her role as an evil deranged woman because this particular episode made her one of the most hated TV characters.

7. Lydia Mokgokoloshi (Koko Mantsha on Skeem Saam)

Almost two decades after she starred in the Sepedi tv drama Bophelo ke Semphekgo as Mma-Nkosheng, Lydia returned to our tv screens as Koko Mantsha, the overprotective grandmother of Katlego Pietersen. Just like wine, this oldie's acting has just gotten finer with time.

6. Dawn Thandeka King (Lindiwe Xulu on Uzalo)

Just one stare at her and you can already presume what kind of character she portrays on Uzalo. She is the bad-ass, fearless Alpha-woman and wife of villain-gangster Muzi Xulu AKA Gxabhashe. This lady nails her role well enough together with notorious husband that makes Generations the legacy gangsta couple Kumkani and Tshidi Phakade's acting look insignificant.

5.Joyce Skefu (Maletsatsi Khumalo on Scandal)

She is currently known for her as Malematsi from eTV Scandal but before that, she was Catherine's outspoken sister(Doris) on Muvhango. Every fan of the soapie would remember and love her character's signature line "you must never..!". This lady is one of the all-time outstanding local actresses that's why she is on this list and also SowetanLive's list.

4. Manaka Ranaka (Lucy Diale on Generations the legacy)

 Manaka acted as the soft, sweet wife of Mojo on Stokvel years ago and now she portrays the gangsta mother of Namhla Diale. Her character is the most entertaining on Generations the legacy. The fact that she isn't a one-dimensional actress exhibits what a talented actress she is.

3. Maumela Mahuwa (Vho-Susan Mukwevho on Muvhango)

What did you think I was gonna do.....Leave Vendas out of this?. Okay I didn't include her just because she is Venda but because she is a talented actress. One thing I like about Maumela's acting is that its natural. She doesn't try too hard as an artist. If you are watching a show and can no longer tell whether a character is acting or being their natural self it can only mean they are really good at what they do.  I salute you "Sosana"(Masindi's voice)

 

2.Shoki Sebotsane (Celia Kunutu on Skeem Saam)

Her role in Muvhango years ago nearly assassinated her acting talent, you can spot this by the amazing work she does on Skeem Saam. MaKunutu is my fave! She can evoke the viewers emotions just by uttering one line. Lets toast to this woman's brilliant acting please ( /click click!/ )

Honorable mentions:Candy Moloi (Vho-Makhadzi on Muvhango), Connie Fergusson( Karabo Moroka-Mogale-Radebe on Generations the legacy), Murabeli Rasalanavho (Mukondeleli on Muvhango), Diaan Lawrenson (Paula Van der Lecq-de Bruyn on 7de Laan)


1. Brenda Bongiwe Ngxoli (Vuyo on Home Affairs)

Her brilliance at her craft shines through in every role she portrays (esp Tsha Tsha and Home Affairs). Brenda is such an extraordinary  performing artist , she even murdered it as an MC on Our Perfect wedding. HATS OFF to you Brenda (And the Drama school you attended). South African Television can use more actresses of your caliber.







So if you've read the list and you agree or disagree make that visible in the comment section! or perhaps suggest other best actresses I might have missed.
Thanks for reading lovies :-) Ndo livhuwa