20 Things I learnt in Varsity
-Google is a better teacher than your lecturer
-A 15 paged assignment can be started and finished 5 hours before it is due
-Chick flicks lied; the nerd doesn’t get the famous girl, the geek girl doesn’t take off her specs and become 10x hotter than previously thought
-2am is the new 10pm
-A day in a life of student means snoozing the alarm, getting late for class, complaining in class about being tired after doing nothing all day, procrastinating assignments and process repeated
-Exhaustion and Hunger are not bodily sensations anymore, they are personality traits. Everyone is always tired and hungry for some reason
-Signing the register is more important than the lecture itself
-You can actually sign the register in absentia- what are other students there for anyways?
-Noodles are a staple diet: Every student is familiar with the 6 different Noodles flavours(which all taste like poverty and tears of small children)
-The first 5 years of a 3-years degree are the hardest
-Nobody cares about your high school past(if you were smart, talented or won an Oscar then,
good for you)
-The high school dumbs or retards somehow become smart and hardworking
-The high school innocent or brainies become drunkards or dropouts
-The game has changed, there is a high level of Series binging than binge drinking-students are not “one episode per week” kind of a people, we are the “one season per day” kind
-No one gives attention to flashy things anymore, there is no better way to say “I should still be in high school or I’m going through puberty” than wearing a pair of Levi’s jeans with a Nike shirt (visible tick) and Addidas tekkies, yack!
-A shady Res or House with uncapped Wi-Fi is more desirable than one with armed security guards
-Wi-Fi is a basic need, more important than food and Bacon..
-A laptop is a student card, if you don’t have one how are you registered as a student, how are you going to series binge and access unlimited Wi-Fi? Oh and Assignments (not so much, well..)
-Students are ignorant and stereotypical! If you are studying If you are studying Media like me, every person who isn’t doing Media will ask you if you are going to be on Generations(I don’t do drama and performing arts so NO!) and if you are from Venda you will definitely be asked if you know Vhafuwi (Azwinndini on Muvhango)
- you will miss home like mad! WRONG! You will not miss home as much as you think. Actually, your family will not miss you as much as you think. The week leading up to me starting Varsity was filled with tears and hugs from family members, promises to keep contact. Uhmm ya, you will enjoy varsity to a point you don’t want to go home ever again and when you do, your family would have developed a psychological disposition that doesn’t include you, you will watch them do stuff and go places without you.
