"The death of a beloved is an amputation"-C.S Lewis
15 years ago my father lost his life to Cerebral Malaria. Even though at one point as a little girl I mistook him for Superman (I sincerely believed he could anything, he was strong, protective, caring,etc.) that belief changed in September 2004 when he suddenly fell ill then passed on within a week of being hospitalized. At at the beginning of September every year I am usually feeling glum because of what this month represents i.e My father's birthday, almost anniversary of his death, my birthday and the month I ever saw my entire extended family in the same room. All the good and bad memories often come flooding back.
Here are some thoughts going through my mind this month:
I was 13 years old when my father died which means now I have been without him longer than I was with him. His passing came as a shock to me and everyone else who knew him, it made me afraid as a child having to learn to live without a father. Although I am not paralyzed by the loss anymore I often imagine what life would be like with him. It's in the big moments when I am feeling sad or happy that I wonder how life would have been like if he was still around. The pain of seeing my mother exhausted by juggling household responsibilities and trying to provide financially for all her children always made me wish my dad was still around.
Jameson of all trades
One of my favourite things about my father was his work ethic. He was hard-working and always had an interest in business/economics. Although he was a Teacher by profession He had other multiple streams of income e.g Video production, Bricklaying, Sand&Gravel enterprise, selling bundled firewood and many others. I admired how he used his profits and earnings to look after his family, relatives and many people in the community.
The last advice he gave me
I remember finding him sitting in front of a fire-pit 3 months before he passed, he advised me to finish school, go to a good Medical School and become a productive member of society. Even though I didn't go into the Medical field as he always aspired, I did take his lesson about not being unproductive.
His last birthday with us: He would be 55 Today
Yesterday(12 September) would have been his birthday. My family never celebrated birthdays with Parties and lots of cake (we only celebrated achievements, being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them. JUST KIDDING. There were too many kids in our house 😂). 2004 was different, we had a small birthday party in our living room to celebrate
my dad and his brother turning the big 40. It was a happy evening with close family friends,
speeches and we sang the song "We are one...One big family!"(anyone remembers?)...little did
we know that would be the last Jolly time we are celebrating with my father in our midst.
The men who played a fatherly role
Any child growing up in an African society knows that a person does not only belong to their immediate family but to the entire community. Even though my biological dad is not alive, there were other men in our close knit communities who stepped up to keep an eye on my family. Thankful for the men who became good role models and father figures to me and especially to my brothers. I'm mostly thankful for my mom who never prevented her children looking up to good father figures as role models because as a mother she couldn't replicate that unique relationship.
My dad's fraternal twin brother
Even thought It was hard to believe those two were twin brothers as they looked and mostly acted nothing alike, their bond was tight. My uncle's home is only 5 houses from ours(can be seen from the main gate). My siblings and I grew up knowing that his house is our other home, we relate to our cousins as if they are our siblings.
My father-In-Law
A perfect father in heaven
''See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!''(1 John 3:1)
Though I had struggled with the grief of losing my father for a long time, When I became a Christian few years ago I started enjoying the privilege of being a child of God, being adopted into his family. I'm grateful to the Lord for good earthly fathers but the joy I experience in knowing God as my heavenly father is far greater than any blissful moment I had with my earthly father(s).
