As a little girl I always wished I was born in America( don't pretend you don't know what i'm talking about). Americans just seemed advanced in everything, cooler and like they have it together man...But as I grew older, I came to embrace being an African, I lovez being an African(Props if you read that in a colored accent-you are truly African or maybe just South African...wait..even Namibian..or just African)
You know you are African If:
1.
2.
3.
If you are working well or doing well financially, this is what your family and relatives see when you go to family gatherings. pretty sure Emmanuel Adebayor can Amen to this!
4.
You have ever been in a taxi(Certified to carry only 15 people including the driver) with 22 other passengers.
5.
your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years. (only time heals the different opinions in Africa)
6.
This is used for sweeping the yard but every now and then it could be used as an alternative for toothpicks.
7.
Your parents are always right. if science says "The sky is blue" and your parents think The sky is red, then the sky is definitely RED. Don't question it, otherwise they will go all Solange Knowles on you.
8.
"you have a what..?" nothing says African than your parents discouraging you to date in your teens or 20s, but as soon as you hit 30s they criticize or put pressure on you for not having found a life partner.
9.
Some African people wanna pretend that giving a child a hiding is child abuse, NO, its discipline. If you cry after getting a hiding, your African parents will hit you again to discipline you for crying. oh, I love Africa.
Why buy a scrubber from Woolies when an Orange mesh bag is at your disposal?
we don't throw this away. it starts in the kitchen and ends in the bathroom.
11.
Church lasts for more than 4 hours. Program goes like: Opening "Worship" songs an hour, The welcoming of guests and people who have returned from the cities, Preaching for offering, Offering, Worship songs to welcome the pastor to the pulpit, Pastor does a solo for 30 minutes, Pastor preaches for 10 minutes and talks about his wife, kids and dog for the remaining 2 hours of the sermon. Pastor takes another offering for building funds and his new Boeing needed for "Ministry". Pastor prays for those who gave n offering. Pastor encourages people to pledge towards the church. Announcements. Last 4 "worship" songs(as the spirit leads-can last up to 40 minutes). CLOSING
12.
VASELINE is a multipurpose tool....you can use Vaseline for anything, and I mean anything. Perks of growing up in such society.
13.
There are only 4 advisable career options according to your community. its either you are an Engineer, a Medical doctor, a Lawyer or a disgrace to the family.
You think of Osita Iheme and Chinedu Ikedieze Instead of ↑ when someone says they saw "2 rats"
Ok..here is a picture of the real rats!
15.
BABY TREVOR
If as a child the phrase " wait till your dad comes home" put your behavior in line.
You refer to Rice served with Carrots, Meat, potato, beetroots, greens, etc. as "7 Colors".
Most South Africans would know what i'm talking about yeah?
17.
Your wanted to follow your dream to become a soccer player but your parents discouraged you with a "Ni dola yeyo bola"("you will eat soccer") mock.
18. Africans will know that making a clicking sound with your tongue to mock someone is more vulgar than any other words in any language.
19. And lastly. you know you are an African if you were able to identify with 10 of the above.
Happy Africa Week and
#sayNOtoXenophobia
Love thy neighbor as thyself{Mark 12:31}
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